Letters to Benjamin

Dear Benjamin,

You lost a very special person this month. Your aunt Doreen died suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving us all with unanswered questions and unfinished business. Doreen loved you and her other niece and nephews so much. The last time we saw her was at a truck stop while we passed each other on the road. She was driving back home after meeting Aisha and we were driving back home after visiting Grandma Gigi for her birthday. I'm so glad we stopped and took pictures that day. In fact it's so strange that we took photos at a truck stop, but it is now a very treasured last memory for us.

Doreen drove all the way from Michigan to meet you when you were 5 days old. She came again in April to be your nanny for a week so that I could continue to work and we wouldn't have to leave you with a babysitter. She brought your cousins Annalisa, Olivia and your Uncle Rob and we all had such a wonderful time together. It was during that week we all went to your first Orioles Game (Orioles vs. Tigers at Camden Yards). Doreen didn't have a lot of money but she bought you one of your favorite toys and your favorite pajamas and bibs. She also started a very nice scrapbook for you. She had made 5 pages already.

When she was here, she taught you how to spit. Your father and I were not pleased at the time. I guess it didn't fit into our vision of our perfectly well-behaved and polite son, but it all seems so petty now. Everyone else thought it was hilarious and cute. Every time she changed your diaper she would ask, "Do you need a new butt? One that don't stink?" and we would all laugh.

She loved all the cute photos that were taken of you. She would print them out and hang them up at work. Her favorite was the photo taken of you and your cousins Ahmed and Abdullah on the tiny couch in their apartment in New York City. It made her laugh every time she looked at it. There weren't very many pictures taken of you and her together, but the ones we have are so precious. You can tell just by her facial expression how much she completely adored you. Whenever I called her she would ask, "How's my nephew?".

You lost someone very important when Doreen died. I will make sure to tell you all about her as you get older so that you grow up knowing her and knowing her love for you.

Love,
Mom