There are lots of times these days when I catch myself zoning out. Often I'm fantasizing about talking to my sister or dreaming of ways to lessen my sadness. I think about taking a pill that would dull my senses, but then I remember I can't take pills because I'm breastfeeding. It would be so handy to just have a magic wand.
What I realized today is that if I had a magic wand that would remove all my sadness, then I'd be left with a bunch of guilt for not being sad. I'd rather be sad than guilty about not being sad. At least that wouldn't shake up my whole perception of myself.
But if anyone has a magic wand that would make me skinnier or richer, I would still be interested in that.
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