Dear Benjamin,
Thanks so much for the Valentine and box of chocolates. I must say I was very impressed to receive it. You are only three months old and already a very thoughtful son. How did you get the money to buy it? Nevermind, that's a rude question. I'm just thankful to receive it. I know it wasn't from your father because we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It just seems silly to us. If you celebrate love all year long, Valentine's Day becomes redundant.
XOXO,
Mom
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Feb 16th, 2011
Dear Benjamin,
I found a woman today whose baby needs more milk than she can make. Since I make plenty for you, I volunteered to pump an extra bottle or two a day to give to her. I hope you don't mind sharing your milk. Breastmilk is a priceless gift that mothers give their children. Unfortunately, not every woman has an easy time with breastfeeding. I've been blessed with more milk than you can drink. And I believe when you are blessed with a special gift, you should use it to bless others. Your life will be richer if you give of yourself to others, and the world will be a better place for your kindness.
Love you bunches,
Mom
I found a woman today whose baby needs more milk than she can make. Since I make plenty for you, I volunteered to pump an extra bottle or two a day to give to her. I hope you don't mind sharing your milk. Breastmilk is a priceless gift that mothers give their children. Unfortunately, not every woman has an easy time with breastfeeding. I've been blessed with more milk than you can drink. And I believe when you are blessed with a special gift, you should use it to bless others. Your life will be richer if you give of yourself to others, and the world will be a better place for your kindness.
Love you bunches,
Mom
Monday, February 14, 2011
Feb 15th, 2011
Dear Benjamin,
You are so stinkin' cute. It's unreal. Your smile is so big and bright - it cracks me up. You've started to laugh now and it melts everyone's heart. Your Grandma Gigi has gotten so many awesome pictures of you. I haven't even taken any this month because she has taken so many that I don't need to. She is staying with us this month so that I can return to work and not have to leave you with a babysitter. You are so blessed to have her. She loves you so much and will be heartbroken when she has to go back to Michigan in two weeks. I imagine she's going to be visiting Baltimore a whole lot. Sometimes she's a little spastic and you get fussy because you just want some peace and quiet--so I'm sorry I don't always save you. She just loves you so much that I let her hold you as much as she wants. She's doing way more good than harm and she always figures out what you want eventually. She tirelessly walks you around the house, sings songs, and acts silly just to make you smile. You bring us all such joy. It seems like our whole goal in life these days is just to make you smile.
Love you so much,
Mom
You are so stinkin' cute. It's unreal. Your smile is so big and bright - it cracks me up. You've started to laugh now and it melts everyone's heart. Your Grandma Gigi has gotten so many awesome pictures of you. I haven't even taken any this month because she has taken so many that I don't need to. She is staying with us this month so that I can return to work and not have to leave you with a babysitter. You are so blessed to have her. She loves you so much and will be heartbroken when she has to go back to Michigan in two weeks. I imagine she's going to be visiting Baltimore a whole lot. Sometimes she's a little spastic and you get fussy because you just want some peace and quiet--so I'm sorry I don't always save you. She just loves you so much that I let her hold you as much as she wants. She's doing way more good than harm and she always figures out what you want eventually. She tirelessly walks you around the house, sings songs, and acts silly just to make you smile. You bring us all such joy. It seems like our whole goal in life these days is just to make you smile.
Love you so much,
Mom
Feb 13, 2011
Dear Benjamin,
Last night, while rocking you to sleep in your nursery, I broke down in tears thinking of all the children in this world who will never know the safe, warm and loving home that you have. All children deserve to be loved, and I feel so incredibly helpless to know that many of them are being mistreated and I can't stop it. Some day I'm going to have to warn you about people who hurt children, and teach you not to talk to strangers. But not yet. Right now things are just so simple and perfect. Your needs are so basic and I can provide them all. Your father is a little jealous of me because at this stage of your life, you need me the most. That will change very soon, but for now I'm loving it.
My protective mothering instincts have really shocked me, by the way. I have gone from being a virtual pacifist to feeling like I could rip someone's head off if they even tried to hurt you. It's pretty incredible, but maybe in some crazy way my mind believes if I protect you a whole bunch, it's like I'm protecting those other children as well. How am I ever going to teach you how to be a man when I don't even want to let you leave the house without me? I guess I have some time to figure that out.
All my love,
Mom
Last night, while rocking you to sleep in your nursery, I broke down in tears thinking of all the children in this world who will never know the safe, warm and loving home that you have. All children deserve to be loved, and I feel so incredibly helpless to know that many of them are being mistreated and I can't stop it. Some day I'm going to have to warn you about people who hurt children, and teach you not to talk to strangers. But not yet. Right now things are just so simple and perfect. Your needs are so basic and I can provide them all. Your father is a little jealous of me because at this stage of your life, you need me the most. That will change very soon, but for now I'm loving it.
My protective mothering instincts have really shocked me, by the way. I have gone from being a virtual pacifist to feeling like I could rip someone's head off if they even tried to hurt you. It's pretty incredible, but maybe in some crazy way my mind believes if I protect you a whole bunch, it's like I'm protecting those other children as well. How am I ever going to teach you how to be a man when I don't even want to let you leave the house without me? I guess I have some time to figure that out.
All my love,
Mom
Monday, February 1, 2010
New Year Resolutions 2010
Here are mine:
1) Lose weight and get healthy (duh!)
2) Give up potato chips for 1 year....this one is going to take a miracle but I've got one month down.
3) Pay off my credit card (again, for the bazillionth time)
4) Go to bed at 10pm during the week (this one needs work)
There are other things that I'm working on in my life with regards to becoming a better person, wife, and mom to my kitties, but those are perpetually ongoing. I try to only make new year resolutions which have measureable results. So far, I'm making good progress with these.
Did you make any? How are you coming on them?
1) Lose weight and get healthy (duh!)
2) Give up potato chips for 1 year....this one is going to take a miracle but I've got one month down.
3) Pay off my credit card (again, for the bazillionth time)
4) Go to bed at 10pm during the week (this one needs work)
There are other things that I'm working on in my life with regards to becoming a better person, wife, and mom to my kitties, but those are perpetually ongoing. I try to only make new year resolutions which have measureable results. So far, I'm making good progress with these.
Did you make any? How are you coming on them?
January Results
In January, I lost 10.2 pounds and lowered my BMI from 32.4 to 30.9. I've worked out 6 times every week, including 1 workout per week with my trainer, Tiffany. The other workouts have mainly been Body Pump classes, low impact aerobics and the elliptical machine. I ran on the treadmill once, but my knees make it difficult to do high impact activities. They seem to be better when I wear my knee brace. My goal is to be able to run someday. A marathon seems way too distant, in more ways than one, but I'd like to be able to at least train for one someday. Even if it has to be on a treadmill and not pavement.
During my workouts with Tiffany, she has me running sprints, running up the stairs, doing jump-squats, all sorts of squats and lunges, push-ups, pull-ups, planks, lifting weights, kettle bells, mountain climbers, etc., etc., etc. I'm learning a lot and getting stronger. Even Dave notices my biceps and triceps popping up. During my solo morning workouts, the hardest part is getting up and suiting up. I still struggle with the temptation of skipping, but I've adopted a "Just do it" attitude and clear my head of all thoughts when that happens. I find that the more I think, the more likely I am to give in to my laziness. So I try not to think as much as possible.
As for my diet, it's the strangest thing. I've noticed that I can eat pretty much whatever I want and still lose weight. Notice I didn't say "as much as" I want. I still count calories and eat mostly healthy food. I set my calorie target for 1600, but I've been averaging 1305 calories a day. Calories can be hard to estimate sometimes, so I try to listen to my body cues over anything else. This last week was challenging foodwise, because I had to eat at least one meal outside the home 5 days out of 7. But I found out that I can eat 3 course meals, including dessert, two nights in a row and still lose weight. I also had ice cream cake, a slice of NY pizza, a Whopper Jr. and 2 mini cinnamon rolls. (Luckily I had Dave to eat the other 4 that came in the 6-pack of the cinnabon bites). I feel a lot better when I choose healthier options, but it's good to know I CAN eat those things if I want to. It's just a little different, now. Instead of a Whopper with cheese, fries and a soda, it's just a Whopper Jr., maybe 1 or 2 (tops) of Dave's fries, and water. (Do not attempt 1-2 fries in your first few weeks of weightloss. Must build discipline first!!) And when someone serves me three courses in a restaurant, I don't feel like I have to clean my plate. I have said good-bye to that uncomfortable too-full feeling.
Eating at Burger King is something that used to ruin my diet. I would just order a combo, eat the whole thing, and maybe even give up on the diet altogether after feeling like I failed. An all-or-nothing attitude is the most dangerous attitude to have while dieting. The best way to succeed, is: 1) don't limit yourself and 2) make better choices. It's difficult in the beginning, but just lowering your portions gradually will make a huge difference. That small piece of ice cream cake tasted good, but the next morning my stomach didn't feel good when I woke up. So when Dave and I drove by our favorite ice cream place today, I wasn't even tempted. When you eat healthier, your body knows the difference.
I want to thank Jo-Ellen and Sarah for working out with me at the gym. I actually owe it to Jo-Ellen that I joined the gym last August, because she talked me into it. I started working out with Tiffany once per week in September, made small changes here and there for several months, and then kicked into high gear in 2010. Also, the CalorieCount.about.com has been an extremely valuable tool, so I want to thank Bob White for introducing me to it via facebook. Also, every person who comments on this blog, or my facebook page, means so much to me and gives me more and more motivation to keep going. I'm also proud to report that I now have 6 blog followers! That is a 100% increase since Jan. 1.
I'm still working on figuring out my end goal. The magic number in my head is 140 pounds because that's the "ideal" weight for my height, and I remembering liking that weight. Somewhere close to that will be great, but I don't want to bow down to an arbitrary number. I also want to build muscle, which is something I've never had before, so I'm not sure where that will fit in. If I'm a muscular 140, I may be too thin for my taste, or my husband's. That is something I think about sometimes, because Dave married a voluptuous woman. I've got a while until I need to worry about that, though. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I'm just concentrating on getting there.
During my workouts with Tiffany, she has me running sprints, running up the stairs, doing jump-squats, all sorts of squats and lunges, push-ups, pull-ups, planks, lifting weights, kettle bells, mountain climbers, etc., etc., etc. I'm learning a lot and getting stronger. Even Dave notices my biceps and triceps popping up. During my solo morning workouts, the hardest part is getting up and suiting up. I still struggle with the temptation of skipping, but I've adopted a "Just do it" attitude and clear my head of all thoughts when that happens. I find that the more I think, the more likely I am to give in to my laziness. So I try not to think as much as possible.
As for my diet, it's the strangest thing. I've noticed that I can eat pretty much whatever I want and still lose weight. Notice I didn't say "as much as" I want. I still count calories and eat mostly healthy food. I set my calorie target for 1600, but I've been averaging 1305 calories a day. Calories can be hard to estimate sometimes, so I try to listen to my body cues over anything else. This last week was challenging foodwise, because I had to eat at least one meal outside the home 5 days out of 7. But I found out that I can eat 3 course meals, including dessert, two nights in a row and still lose weight. I also had ice cream cake, a slice of NY pizza, a Whopper Jr. and 2 mini cinnamon rolls. (Luckily I had Dave to eat the other 4 that came in the 6-pack of the cinnabon bites). I feel a lot better when I choose healthier options, but it's good to know I CAN eat those things if I want to. It's just a little different, now. Instead of a Whopper with cheese, fries and a soda, it's just a Whopper Jr., maybe 1 or 2 (tops) of Dave's fries, and water. (Do not attempt 1-2 fries in your first few weeks of weightloss. Must build discipline first!!) And when someone serves me three courses in a restaurant, I don't feel like I have to clean my plate. I have said good-bye to that uncomfortable too-full feeling.
Eating at Burger King is something that used to ruin my diet. I would just order a combo, eat the whole thing, and maybe even give up on the diet altogether after feeling like I failed. An all-or-nothing attitude is the most dangerous attitude to have while dieting. The best way to succeed, is: 1) don't limit yourself and 2) make better choices. It's difficult in the beginning, but just lowering your portions gradually will make a huge difference. That small piece of ice cream cake tasted good, but the next morning my stomach didn't feel good when I woke up. So when Dave and I drove by our favorite ice cream place today, I wasn't even tempted. When you eat healthier, your body knows the difference.
I want to thank Jo-Ellen and Sarah for working out with me at the gym. I actually owe it to Jo-Ellen that I joined the gym last August, because she talked me into it. I started working out with Tiffany once per week in September, made small changes here and there for several months, and then kicked into high gear in 2010. Also, the CalorieCount.about.com has been an extremely valuable tool, so I want to thank Bob White for introducing me to it via facebook. Also, every person who comments on this blog, or my facebook page, means so much to me and gives me more and more motivation to keep going. I'm also proud to report that I now have 6 blog followers! That is a 100% increase since Jan. 1.
I'm still working on figuring out my end goal. The magic number in my head is 140 pounds because that's the "ideal" weight for my height, and I remembering liking that weight. Somewhere close to that will be great, but I don't want to bow down to an arbitrary number. I also want to build muscle, which is something I've never had before, so I'm not sure where that will fit in. If I'm a muscular 140, I may be too thin for my taste, or my husband's. That is something I think about sometimes, because Dave married a voluptuous woman. I've got a while until I need to worry about that, though. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I'm just concentrating on getting there.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Who You Callin' Obese?
In the U.S., we have become fat desensitized. Since about 1/3 of all Americans are obese, we have a new concept of what normal weight is. And it's technically obese. It is so normal for one to carry around an extra 20-30 pounds without worrying too much about it. Well guess what? Gain 20 more pounds and you're now obese. This may shock you, but you don't have to be that fat to be obese.
When I think of the word obese, I think about certain family members of mine who are more than 500 pounds. That's actually called super obese. (I'm not making this up, BMI over 50, look it up) Or maybe someone around 300 pounds, like my younger sister weighed on her wedding day, but that is considered morbidly obese for someone of my height. The definition of morbidly obese is 2 or more times your ideal body weight.
Growing up in a family full of fat people, I had a different sense of normal. Yeah, I knew they were fat, but I thought they were just plain old overweight. I see a person carrying around 20-30 extra pounds as normal, and a person with 40-80 as overweight, and then maybe around 90-100 or more is obese.....right? Wrong! I might be wrong, but I bet a lot of people think the same way. Maybe only skinny, health nutty people and Europeans actually already know these things I'm saying. Or maybe I'm just learning a little late, because I never thought it applied to me. I used to be really skinny, you know. Just sayin'.
Through it all, I take comfort in knowing that my weight is my fault. It's not my parents' fault, it's not "getting married"'s fault. It's my fault. I actually like figuring out when something is my fault because it also helps me figure out that I have the power to change it. The good thing about accountability is that we can take credit for the good things we do, too! We have a lot to do with the way our lives turn out. We can't control everything, but we control enough.
So, when I talk about being obese, it's not just because it's a super fun way to describe myself. I do it because it's the cold, hard truth. Sure, I only have 6 more pounds to lose before I'm not clinically obese anymore (Go me!), but in the meantime I'm still obese and I'm soaking in this feeling. But don't go thinking I'm gonna be posing for any of those graphic postcards of really huge ladies in thongs. I'm probably not as fat as you think.
When I think of the word obese, I think about certain family members of mine who are more than 500 pounds. That's actually called super obese. (I'm not making this up, BMI over 50, look it up) Or maybe someone around 300 pounds, like my younger sister weighed on her wedding day, but that is considered morbidly obese for someone of my height. The definition of morbidly obese is 2 or more times your ideal body weight.
Growing up in a family full of fat people, I had a different sense of normal. Yeah, I knew they were fat, but I thought they were just plain old overweight. I see a person carrying around 20-30 extra pounds as normal, and a person with 40-80 as overweight, and then maybe around 90-100 or more is obese.....right? Wrong! I might be wrong, but I bet a lot of people think the same way. Maybe only skinny, health nutty people and Europeans actually already know these things I'm saying. Or maybe I'm just learning a little late, because I never thought it applied to me. I used to be really skinny, you know. Just sayin'.
Through it all, I take comfort in knowing that my weight is my fault. It's not my parents' fault, it's not "getting married"'s fault. It's my fault. I actually like figuring out when something is my fault because it also helps me figure out that I have the power to change it. The good thing about accountability is that we can take credit for the good things we do, too! We have a lot to do with the way our lives turn out. We can't control everything, but we control enough.
So, when I talk about being obese, it's not just because it's a super fun way to describe myself. I do it because it's the cold, hard truth. Sure, I only have 6 more pounds to lose before I'm not clinically obese anymore (Go me!), but in the meantime I'm still obese and I'm soaking in this feeling. But don't go thinking I'm gonna be posing for any of those graphic postcards of really huge ladies in thongs. I'm probably not as fat as you think.
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